"I miss that"

I think we've all been here....

Yesterday Chandler moved into his big boy bed. It was an inevitable move, but we had been postponing it; mainly because we're not ready. Nap time didn't go so well yesterday, but he slept great last night, and just went down for his second nap in his big boy bed with out a word.

Everyone, for my entire life, has been telling me life goes fast. There seem to be times in life where things move slowly. When you're 15 and a half and want to go to prom, or you have 2 months of school left until you graduate, or even when you were 5 and there was a field trip next Thursday. But then when you're finally 16 you realize it really wasn't so long; last Thursday came and went too quickly.

Then one day I had a baby and I can't seem to hold on to a moment for anything. I often complain about still being poor students, but last night I realized if I wish away these poor student moments, with them goes Chandler's toddler years. He was born, and he was soo tiny. And then he started growning.. it seemed kind of to go like this: tiny, lots of crying, a little bigger, 6 months, christmas, moving, a little bigger, vacation, a little bigger, one year, moving, a little bigger, walking, talking, forks, shoes, toys, fits, dirt, time outs, friends, toilets... all of a sudden he wasn't a baby anymore.

Really that's what this is all about. Chandler isn't a baby anymore. Everyone told me to not miss it, 'they grow up fast', so I tried... but it's gone. Part of me feels like I missed it. Brandon says, "don't worry we'll have another one." I feel like a little kid whose dog died when I say, "I don't want another one, I want Chandler back."

Of course it's just as important to not dwell on the past as it is to not dwell on the furture. An old lady at Walgreens said to me once, "I miss that." I thought the screaming, starving baby in my arms told the lady she was wrong, but I was the wrong, because I miss that.

Let's enjoy the present, come on.. it's going to be fun. :-)